At the Soil Not Oil conference in San Francisco earlier this week, I spent two whole days with my mom hat off and my listening ears on. Yes--two whole days without a single trigger to my inner child. It was glorious.
Upon return to my family, I was immediately presented with a fevered Rose, who persisted in being significantly miserable for the next 35 hours, until her temperature came down. I was additionally presented with a stressed-out Keith, who put in 30 days' notice on our apartment, and is scrambling to figure out how to make more money after the surprise-ending of his employment, and relies on my listening to his every idea. Sitting in the heat, caring for the kids, craving space to cultivate the seeds planted in me at the conference, I found myself depleting quickly.
Nourishment. So I can center, and sense my way forward. So I can focus, and figure out what's next for me and these kidlets.
I am nourished by the vision I see in my heart, which aligns with the vision of the brilliant scientists, activists, entrepreneurs, researchers, and thought-leaders present at Soil Not Oil. Here is a slice of it, from my wall:
The vision consists of living in deep harmony with the natural world, and with my own nature. Growing and eating food right off the face of the earth, on healthy soil. I have sustainable, healthy housing, in the company of mindful beings who love and support one another. I drink clean water abundantly. I move my body every day, joyfully, wildly, without reservation. I'm immersed in music, art, activism, community-building, learning, service, and sharing. My cup overfloweth, and my oxygen mask floweth freely, as I nurture the precious life within and around me.
Meanwhile, in my little apartment box, what can I do? Keep eating plants. Keep playing my drum. Keep writing. Keep moving and breathing, every day, no matter what--so kids are climbing on my back, or my belly? Work with that. Move with that. Breath as prayer, life as ceremony. Showing up in unconditional love for myself and this journey. Nourished in the core of my being by gratitude and faith. Nourished in the inevitable ups and downs of the day by radical compassion and self-acceptance.
This fundamental nourishment moves me toward the vision. And it feels amazing.